INTRUDER IN THE FAMILY – CANCER
Getting ready for the battle. Photo love to my beautiful son Barry of BClassic Photography
I never thought about cancer much until I was well into my twenties. Before then, all I knew about the disease was what I remembered from Mr. People’s 8th grade biology class, that the cells in a person’s body would suddenly have a mind of their own, reproducing at an alarming speed without the body’s permission, from a faulty gene. Then suddenly one day it seemed like cancer had stepped out of the text books and invaded the physical, emotional, and the very psyche of the ones I loved. It felt like it was everywhere. First one family member was diagnosed then another and another. Like a cruel game of spin the bottle, over the years it toyed with us with each doctor’s visit singling out beautiful family members one by one. And unlike the not-so-innocent kissing game of the 90’s in which players sit in a circle and took turns spinning a bottle in the middle to see who would be the not-so-lucky person who would have to kiss a designated player or perform some other dare with the player at whom the bottle pointed when it stopped, the very mention of the word cancer shook us to our core. It was no game. It was real, unforgiving, and sometimes deadly. Although we witnessed its wrath first hand, and as crazy as it sounds, it was something that we just didn’t talk about– at least not enough.
It was much later, after the fifth family member was diagnosed, when it truly convinced me that this thing ran deep within my family and that I needed to mentally and physically prepare myself. I started doing all I could to mitigate my risks, improving my nutrition, exercising regularly, avoiding toxins as much as possible and aligning myself with a breast cancer specialist. And yet, on the afternoon of November 19th, a few days before Thanksgiving, it caught up with me. That day started normally – happily. The only thing significant; my annual mammogram was scheduled for that afternoon. It was supposed to be an uneventful appointment. By the time the day was over, however, after nearly five hours, two ultrasounds, and a biopsy, our lives had changed immensely. Breast cancer just doesn’t affect the patient. It affects everyone close to you. It all happened so fast. It’s been all very surreal. Even before my doctor told me, I knew. I remember whispering the words, it’s my turn. It’s just my turn.
I refuse to let this disease steal my joy, rob my spirit, or overshadow my blessings! Photo love to Adina of Bliss Culture Photography
I don’t know what my journey with breast cancer will look like. In the realm of possibilities, anything can happen, but it is the perception that makes a difference. So, I know what I want it to look like. I know there will be many things about this disease that I will not be able to control. However, I’m darn certain of the things that I can. My attitude for starters! By the time many of you read this, I will be either undergoing surgery or in recovery. As horrifying as this disease is, please know that I. Am. Okay. I’m blessed on so many levels. I’m truly, truly blessed and I will not lose sight of that fact! I recognize that it is very hard for a woman to go through something like this – losing the physical manifestations of what “identifies” her as a woman in this society. But I see it as only serving purely aesthetic purposes. Beauty is too often defined by external features. That should not be what makes us beautiful. Beauty is strength, compassion, and attitude. Beauty is looking your worst fears right in the face and being able to see the silver lining. I have so many silver linings. Beauty is the ability to love wholeheartedly, even if you feel like your own heart is broken. Cancer will not define me. I refuse to let this disease steal my joy, rob my spirit, or overshadow my blessings!
Even during a storm, He is with you! Photo love to my beautiful son Barry of BClassic Photography
Remember Butterflies, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it!
Photo love to BClassic Photography & Bliss Culture Photography. Hair by Tammy D and make-up by Nadia. To my family and friends, I love you and thank you for all of your support.
Edna
